If I Can't Have You: A Compulsive, Darkly Funny Story of Heartbreak and Obsession

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This is superb . . . and compulsive and disturbing and very well done indeed' Harriet Tyce, author of Blood Orange This is a debut novel?! Charlotte Levin's If I Can't Have You is an addictive and dark novel of obsession, love and betrayal. I wasn't sure at the beginning but the more I read the more I got lost in Constance's story. This is book that you need to read to believe. I gave a feeling that it will be a much talked about book this year. And ya know, not a spoiler since it's a matter of public record but he's now done his time and is out of prison. Oh snap - parole - so we're all safe aren't we?

Write down whatever you heard," he said to Jennifer. "I'll write down what I heard, and we'll have our notes because we have to document this." EM: Explain to me how … what about your guys' relationship … what it consists of and stuff like that. But JoVonna Owings had seen the family. She'd been with them Sunday afternoon and would be critical to piecing together Susan's last hours.Debbie Caldwell pulled up in her Ford Club Wagon—the one with fifteen seats to carry all the children who attended her day care—and observed how quiet her friend and neighbor Susan's house seemed. It was 9:00 A.M. on Monday, December 7, 2009, and West Valley City, a suburb of Salt Lake City, was in the middle of a three-day winter storm. Freezing temperatures and four inches of new snowfall made the roads so icy that the local news described the streets as "mayhem." My favourite character would have to be the irascible Edward. And his inscription in the copy of "Wuthering Heights" he gave to Constance for her birthday brought tears to my eyes... This isn't your usual psychological thriller, it is a study of manipulation and gaslighting at its most cruel ways. I'm not saying he should have done life in prison after the first time. No one was physically hurt after all. But if he had done a few years and had a fine he couldn't pay maybe, just freaking maybe, he would have thought twice about doing it again.

This psychological thriller is written as a fascinating and detailed letter, from Constance to Samuel, and SO hard to put down. The story is a mixture of “Fatal Attraction” and “Gone Girl” and works perfectly. I couldn’t help but root for “Team Constance”, even if she was a bit psycho. The more I read about her, the more I sympathized with her and tried to understand her actions. Constance Little currently works as a receptionist at a private doctors surgery in Kensington. When a new doctor, Samuel Stevens, starts at the practice it isn't long before Constance is overwhelmingly infatuated with him. He's exceedingly attractive, very confident, and has an inflated sense of his own importance. But Constance can't stop thinking about him. When he appears to welcome her romantic overtures she is ecstatic. When it becomes apparent that they aren't singing from the same song sheet, he ends their brief liaison rather cruelly and Constance's infatuation turns into an obsession... It is a dark character driven story, told from Constance's point of view. We see the world as she sees it. It is uncomfortable to read in parts, but that is the charm of it. It is raw and real. There are some wonderful supporting characters that you will fall in love with - clearly not Samuel! After being trapped by the police in his driveway, Josh followed Detective Maxwell to the West Valley City Police Department to tell his story once more. The police wanted Charlie and Braden to come to the station, too. This is a well-written account of the Susan Powell disappearance and subsequent murder of her children that played out locally in Utah a few years ago. There are not a lot of good guys in it. The evil and perversion of a family, the slow movement of the police, and the helplessness of everybody else makes this a difficult book.

Clad in a meringue of taffeta, tulle and blood, Constance steps onto the underground in somewhat of a daze. As the reader we are instantly drawn into her world and what happened to leave her sandwiched between a hipster and a mother with her child in a bridal gown on a train. The child was in awe of Constance's attire exclaiming "Look at the princess, mummy!" whilst pawing the rustling fabric as other passengers possibly declared her somewhat insane. In that moment, we feel her pain despite not yet knowing what it is. Has she been jilted? Or is she a runaway bride? My thanks to NetGalley and to the publishers, PanMacmillan for a copy of the ARC in return for an honest review. Josh finally signed a consent form authorizing a search of his van. In the vehicle they found the electric generator, blankets, a gas can, tarps, and a shovel. They also recovered a circular saw, a humidifier, at least two knives, a tripod, a newly opened box of latex gloves, and a rake, but did not disclose the existence of those items for more than three years. If I Can't Have You by Charlotte Levin is an all-consuming novel about loneliness, obsession and how far we go for the ones we love. Parts of the story were so dark, these are what I enjoyed the most but at the same time made me angry with certain characters. This behaviour of manipulation happens around us every day, and it is captured so well here in Constances' story.

EM: Okay, so help me try to figure out. I don't live with you. I don't live with her, okay. You guys have been together for what, seven years? Brilliant. A perfect and completely terrifying depiction of heartbreak and obsession' – Sarah Powell Why have I bothered this time ? Because the verdicts not just given out of sequence, it’s put into the ‘about this book’ blurb ! So I now know what happened before I even read the first sentence ! I mean c’mon ! Constance is a receptionist in a doctors surgery in London who falls in love with Samuel , the new doctor. He seems to feel the same way, but he uses her for his own purposes and then dumps her. What happens next is this story. She is a vulnerable woman and his betrayal hurts her, but she does not give up easily. So this is a story about obsession, grief and cruel manipulation. Constance has recently lost her mum to the big C (cancer, not covid) it wasn't pretty, and her young mind has been ruined by it.

If I Can’t Have You is a stunning début novel by new author Charlotte Levin. There was such a lot to love about this smart and compelling story. Asked to relate the events of Sunday, a nervous Josh couldn't remember what Susan was wearing, and explained again how she had been tired and had laid down. Later she had gotten out of bed and they had hot dogs and watched The Santa Clause 2. Or maybe it was The Santa Clause 3. Braden had fallen asleep, so Josh took just Charlie sledding at a park near Whittier Elementary School, although in one version of his story both boys went sledding. When they got home, Susan was watching TV. Josh read the boys a story, then he began to clean the couch with his new Rug Doctor, a vacuum cleaning system he had spent several hundred dollars on a couple of weeks before. At first there was a sense of relief: Josh and Susan and the boys were not dead in their beds. But something was wrong.

This is a book that touched so many different emotions in me. One minute I detested Constance, the next I loved her. I’ve winced, gasped, laughed and cried throughout the reading of this book. It’s definitely one of my favourites of 2020 and I can tell you that Charlotte Levin is certainly someone to look out for. If you enjoy true crime novels and have heard about this case, I recommend giving this book a try. While I wish there were more answers in terms of what happened to Susan Powell, I think her story SHOULD be told to help prevent things like this happening in the future.West Valley City police issued a statewide attempt-to-locate bulletin so that law enforcement in other jurisdictions would be on the lookout for the Powells' 2005 light blue Chrysler Town & Country minivan. The police sent Jennifer home so they could search the house. To those readers who come for a psychological thriller I say stay with this book, and it will repay you in far greater riches. To those who overlook it as not sounding quite serious enough, I urge you just to come. A rare five stars from me. This psychological thriller is a darkly twisted tale of love and obsession written in the form of a detailed letter from Constance to Samuel, the object of her desire, and is a twisted blend of "Fatal Attraction" and "Gone Girl". I couldn't help but feel sorry for Constance even if she was a tad psycho. It was Samuel and Dale that I loathed the most...and I had to question who was the most twisted one of them all? If I Can't Have You” by Charlotte Levin is an all-consuming novel about loneliness, obsession and how far we go for the ones we love. When asked why he hadn't answered his cell phone during the day, Josh said he had kept it off to preserve the battery. He said he didn't have a cell charger. Plus they were out in the desert where there was no service. Detective Maxwell, a solidly built man with a dark crew cut, mustache, and ruddy complexion, had fifteen years on the force but this would be the most complicated and trying case of his career. Maxwell leaned through the window of the minivan and saw one phone on the center consul plugged into a charger. He also noted a second cell phone—later determined to be Susan's—in the van. Josh didn't have an answer as to why his wife's phone was in the car.